so that wasnt chicken after all
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Randomize
