i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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