Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
