just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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