Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
