i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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