Me too!
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
