Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
My liver just had a heart attack.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
