Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
