i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I'm like, not good at living.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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