i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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