I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
