I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
