We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Randomize
