I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Damn victory sex feels great
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
