Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
