OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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