Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
