in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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