i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize