grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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