And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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