If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
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