I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
