So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Randomize
