you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize
