My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
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