thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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