you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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