D3 body, D1 cock
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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