There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
