yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
