No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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