i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
