from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
