The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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