Plan B is the new Plan A
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
