May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
