the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
