Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I touched a dick in church today
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
