I accidentally had phone sex last night
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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