I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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