I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Randomize
