what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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