Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
