i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
