My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
My liver just had a heart attack.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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