he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
