Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I love having hate sex.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
