last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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