Yo dont text me then not text me
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
