i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
wow bdsm is so cute
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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