the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
