for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
