He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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