she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
