the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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